


How the Heart Aches

by Jasons_bamboozlement



Category: DCU
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Ficlet, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Past Rape/Non-con, Stand Alone, Very small past rape reference
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-27
Updated: 2017-08-27
Packaged: 2018-12-20 16:45:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11925033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jasons_bamboozlement/pseuds/Jasons_bamboozlement
Summary: Jason comes home after a bad day on patrol. Dick is ready, as always, to help his partner work through it.





	How the Heart Aches

Dick is in the kitchen preparing dinner. Since it’s one in the morning, he supposes dinner is a relative term. But with their vigilante schedule, they take dinner when they can.

Dick’s version of cooking is vastly different from Jason’s. Dick usually subsists on cereal and take-out while Jason prefers to cook meals from scratch. So after Dick accidentally set the stovetop on fire the first time he had tried to cook dinner, Jason stepped in and gave him a handful of “idiot proof” (Jason’s words) recipes to use.

Tonight’s dinner is spaghetti. Jason doesn’t trust Dick to make the sauce, so he has conceded to using canned sauce. As long as Dick doesn’t burn the noodles, they’ll be eating as soon as Jason returns from patrol.

Dick hears Jason enter through the apartment window about 20 minutes later. “Hey babe!” He calls. “I’ve got the noodles cooked and I even risked making some garlic bread!” When he doesn’t receive the typical quip about him setting things on fire, Dick peeks his head around the corner to check on his partner.

Jason has tossed his gear bag on the ground and is in the middle of viciously trying to shed his jacket. When he had manages to escape that, he chucks it to the ground and strides off to the workout room without a glance at Dick.

There are only a handful of things which would cause Jason to abandon his neat-freak tendencies. Since he probably hadn’t met up with Bruce and Dick hadn’t been in mortal danger, that meant Jason must have lost someone on patrol-most likely a child.

All of the Bat family takes their job seriously and everyone takes losses hard. Despite Jason’s gruff exterior, he is no exception-especially when it comes to kids. Everyone deals with it in their own way. While Dick prefers to quietly wallow in guilt, Jason rages and wears his anger on his sleeve.

Walking back towards the workout room, he can hear the familiar clink of the chain as Jason punches the bag ad nauseam. Dick knows Jason will not be receptive to anything he says at the moment. So he leaves him alone and wanders towards the kitchen to turn off the oven.

Five minutes later, he returns to the workout room to find Jason still working over the bag. His form is sloppy in his agitated state. Even though it’s only been a few minutes, Jason’s relentless pace has caused him to start sweating through his shirt.

Normally, Dick would have no problem letting Jason vent all his frustrations in this manner. Jason would eventually run out of steam and emerge either ready to talk or ready to let it go. However, in his haste to start hitting things, Dick notices Jason has neglected any coverings for his hands. At this point, he can start to see the bruising appear on Jason’s knuckles and  knows if he waits any longer, Jason runs the risk of causing actual damage to his hands.

Stepping into the room, Dick says just loud enough to be heard over Jason’s punches “How old?”

Not breaking his pace, Jason responds “Not older than eight.” Dick closes his eyes for a moment; Jason might not have a problem cutting down criminals in cold blood, but he carries a big soft spot for kids. Dick’s never asked him about it, he figures he has his own reasons.

Moving towards Jason, Dick reaches out to grab his lover’s hand before it can make contact with the bag again. “I’m sorry,” he says, his hand firmly preventing Jason from continuing. Jason finally looks up from the bag.

“Don’t,” He says shaking off Dick’s grip, although his free hand only moves to hang dejectedly at his side.  “I don’t want to hear any crap about ‘It’s not my fault’ ‘I’m only human’ ‘I can’t save everyone’ it doesn’t change the fact that I watched an innocent child die in front of me.”

“I know, Jay,” Dick says with a sigh, scrubbing a hand over his face. “I know nothing undoes what happened. I know the guilt that comes with this job can eat you up from the inside.” Dick’s not sure if there’s a point in continuing. They’ve both given each other this speech before and they both know how it ends.

Jason’s anger doesn’t leave his frame, but looking into his eyes, Dick can see desperate a plea. So Dick soldiers on to try comforting Jason, knowing there’s a chance he can take some of that pain out of his eyes.

“Look, I know nothing changes what happened out there,” Dick says softly. “But the best thing you can do is take care of yourself tonight, so you can go out tomorrow, the next day, and the day after that, and keep searching for the justice you couldn’t find today.”

Jason’s silent, but his anger slowly starts to abate as he digests Dick’s words. Or at the very least, his anger starts to turn into a controlled focus. Dick can see Jason formulating a plan of retaliation against whoever had the idiocy to piss off the Red Hood tonight. Giving Jason something else to concentrate on, helps to alleviate some of his anguish.

But Dick can still see the tension behind his eyes and the way he holds himself. “Look, dinner can wait a little bit, would you like a chance to get cleaned up? It might help,” Dick suggests.

Reluctantly, Jason concedes. Flexing his arms he says “Yeah, I feel like hell and my muscles ache from not stretching them when I got home.” After a brief pause he adds with a wry smile “And I may have fallen onto a car at some point in the night as well”

Dick only rolls his eyes at the new information and says “I hope you offered to pay for the damages.”

“It was the middle of a chase, Dick-face. I had enough time to curse the guy I was following and then roll gracefully off the hood.”

“Well, then in the morning we’re headed out to find the car with a Red Hood-sized dent in the roof and leaving a money-stuffed envelope in the glove compartment,” Dick says with a satisfied nod.

Jason rolls his eyes, but slings an arm over Dick’s shoulders all the same. “Are you always this absurdly sanctimonious? Or is this a new development?”

“You love me this way and you know it,” Dick says leaning up for a quick kiss.

Jason’s smirk is tempered with adoration as they wander to the bathroom. When they reach the threshold, Dick steps in behind Jason. “Umm…Dickiebird, as much as I love shower sex, I’m really not in the mood tonight.”

Dick just smiles as he gently starts removing his own shirt. “I assumed. But I thought tonight you’d like to try something sort of different.”

“Okay, I’ll try to simplify this even further for you,” Jason says irritation creeping into his voice. “No sex tonight, no matter how new and exciting you want to make it. Save it for tomorrow,” Jason gives Dick a sharp shove towards the door.

Dick looks down, rubbing the spot on his chest where Jason had pushed him. “Jay, I understood you the first time.” He adds softly “You know I’d never push you on consent.”

Understanding registers in Jason’s face. Experiences from Dick’s past mean he truly values consent and bodily autonomy. “Shit, Dick, I’m sorry,” Jason takes a small step towards the older man. “I know you wouldn’t force anything on me. I guess-I guess I’m still riled about this evening.” Dick hasn’t moved.

Reaching out to take Dick’s hand Jason adds “I’m sorry. Please, show me what you had planned. I promise to go along with whatever it is.”

Dick lifts his head, a smile growing on his face. Having the Red Hood to agree to follow anything Dick’s planned is like having Christmas arrive early. His earlier distress dismissed, Dick excitedly says “I thought we could take a bath together!”

Jason raises his eyebrow “Uh…have you seen our tub, Dickie? It’s not exactly built to hold two grown men.”

Dick is not flapped “It’s a standard issue tub,” he points out, holding up a finger to silence Jason’s next protest. “Besides, I’m preposterously bendy. I’ll make us fit,” he says with a self-assured smile. “Now focus on getting that t-shirt off. I’m worried the sweat has permanently fused it to your torso.”

Jason flicks Dick off, but proceeds to undress himself all the same. Dick sticks his tongue out in return as he goes about drawing the bath.

In the end, they manage to both squeeze into the tub-Jason sitting with his back to Dick’s chest, while Dick’s legs curl around Jason’s sides. The steam rising off the warm water starts to fog up the mirror as Dick gently works his fingers into the knots in his partner’s shoulders. Dick knows Jason tends to carry his stress in the edges near his shoulder blades.

“Mmm…” Jason hums in pleasure when Dick works out a particularly stubborn knot.

“Feel good?” Dick asks as he leans in to kiss Jason’s broad shoulders.

“Mmm…” Jason repeats closing his eyes and leaning back into Dick’s arms. “Yeah, this was a pretty good idea, babe.”

Dick hugs him close, relishing in the way he can feel Jason relax into him. “Want to keep this positive trend going?”

Not opening his eyes, “I guess I promised to cooperate.” Jason smiles contentedly.

“Okay, then sit up a little,” Dick says as he reaches for the shampoo. Squirting a dollop into his palm, he works it into a lather between his hands. He reaches up and begins massaging it into Jason’s scalp.

Jason stiffens a bit at the unexpected touch, but soon relaxes as Dick’s sure fingers work their way through his raven hair. After a bit Jason murmurs “Wow, I’m almost sorry I didn’t let you talk me into this earlier.”

Dick chuckles softly “Well we can keep this in mind for next time one of us has a rough night.” Dick sees a ghost of the tension return to Jason’s shoulders at the reminder of his patrol. Dick plants a kiss on his shoulder and softly says “I’m sorry about patrol tonight.”

Jason shrugs in a forced attempt to maintain the relaxed ambiance. “Like you said, I’ll just have to get’em next time.”

Dick brings Jason in close to his body, leaving sudsy handprints on his chest. “I know you will, Jay.”

An unspoken moment of sadness and acceptance passes between them before Dick tries to lighten the mood with a perky “Hey! I’m starving! Let’s get you all washed up and have some dinner.”

 

An hour later, they’re curled up on the couch with full bellies. Jason is playing little spoon at Dick’s insistence. Dick watches the end of the movie while carding his hands through Jason’s still damp hair. Jason had fallen asleep about half an hour ago, and Dick had been content to let him rest.

As he watches the man in his arms sleep, Dick’s filled with a sense of admiration and love. He can’t but appreciate how strongly Jason cares and how deep his desire for justice runs. And while he may not always agree with Jason’s methods, he will always admire his passion and drive to improve the city and its citizens.


End file.
